Choose Kindness over Curiosity!

Just when I thought I’d heard it all!

Some of you know this, maybe some don’t: I have a large birthmark that covers my left arm and chest. Technically, it’s called a “port-wine stain”, which is blood vessels under the skin that you’re born with and that grow as you grow.

I’ve talked about it before, especially in connection with one of my favorite B4 challenges, Swimsuit Swagger. Living with it means I’ve spent my whole life fielding questions. At this point, I’ve grown immune to them. My husband? Not so much.

The questions range from the classic, “Did you burn yourself?”, to all kinds of strange old wives’ tales.

This Labor Day, my husband and I biked to the beach. On the way home, hot, sweaty, and not exactly feeling glamorous, we stopped for lunch. Sitting at the bar, a man leaned over and asked, “Excuse me for asking, but is that road rash on your arm?”

Now, in my head, I had a perfect comeback: “Yes, I was dragged by my horse on a gravel road, and only my left arm got the worst of it.” But instead, I smiled and simply said, “It’s a birthmark.” He apologized. Still, I was the one left feeling uncomfortable.

And of course, I worried about my husband’s reaction. He hates when I dignify those questions with an answer.

Here’s the thing: we’re human. Our eyes are drawn to what looks different, it’s instinct. But what matters is how we respond. Curiosity is normal, but before we speak, we should ask: What do I hope to gain by saying this?

I admire Jenna Lyons. She’s a former J.Crew exec and Real Housewives of New York alum. She lives openly with a rare genetic disorder that affects her skin, hair, and teeth. She’s honest about it, chooses what she wants to cover, and highlights the features she loves. I am inspired by her strength and self-awareness.

Our actions and our words can take even the most confident of people down in that moment. So think before you act. Put yourself in their shoes on the receiving end and do not use morbid curiosity as a means to connect. Curiosity is natural, but kindness is a choice.

We all carry something, some of us wear it on our skin, others carry it quietly inside. What matters is remembering that a quick comment or careless question can land heavier than we think.

So here’s my reminder as we move forward on this journey of staying happy, healthy, and fit together: notice the person before the difference, choose empathy over impulse, and let your words lift rather than weigh down.

Staying happy, healthy, and fit isn’t just about workouts and meal plans, it’s also about how we show up for each other. A kind word, or even choosing silence over a careless comment, can be as powerful as any exercise in building strength. Let’s lift people the same way we lift weights: with intention, respect, and care. 

That’s the kind of fitness that lasts.

Thank you for letting me be vulnerable and share this piece of my journey. Every time I open up, it reminds me that strength isn’t just in our bodies, it’s also in the courage to be seen, fully and honestly.

Cheers to Staying Happy, Healthy & Fit Together, in every way! xo, M